Happy New Year 2016

Jan. 1, 2016                                        

Like most families, our family is lazy today.  Relaxing, watching the Buckeyes, eating too much.  I have a weird, comfortable feeling of contentment today.  I had not planned to blog again just yet, but I am overwhelmed with the desire to reflect on the year behind us and look with anticipation on the coming year.

Our family has just come through an immensely tough year...an immensely tough three years actually. If you have been reading my blog for the last few years, you understand what I mean.  When I really consider what we have endured since this time last year, I am overwhelmed at God's grace to give us joy in the midst of any of it. But, we made it. There is a song by Natalie Grant, a contemporary Christian artist, that says, "This is what it means to be held, how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive."  I always thought these were powerful lyrics that would mean a lot to someone who could really relate to them.  Now, we can and they are true.  Not only did we survive, but I feel that we thrived through it. Through this year's tough life lessons, we grew spiritually, became a closer family and learned so much about ourselves.  We even managed to have fun together.  Every year right before Christmas I make a family video.  It is a slideshow that has pictures of our family's important events and crazy moments throughout the year set to music with silly captions.  Nobody sees the video except me until New Years, when we all sit together and watch it which has become one of our favorite traditions.  This year's video was especially tough to make and I almost chickened out, considering it would have to contain pictures of Kacie's last days.  However, I knew it was the right thing to do to go through with it and, in the process of making the video, I experienced some healing.  I also was reminded of our family's tenacity and resilience demonstrated in the pictures of my kids laughing and having fun together.  It is exactly what Kacie would have wanted us to do.  I am so proud of all of them and so grateful for my husband who walked with me and held us all up through all of it. Tonight, we will all sit together and watch the video with laughter and probably some tears.

I thought that I would be very emotional last night as the clock turned to midnight considering that I cried myself to sleep the night before.  The emotion comes in waves and gets worse the more I think about it.  I have always sort of felt sad on New Year's Eve especially when I hear Auld Lang Syne, even though I do not have a clue what the song actually means.  But, in the midst of the screaming and hollering that was going on around me, I was not emotional. I felt an odd sense of acceptance of the passing year and hope for a fresh start.

Like many people, I have made several goals for this coming year. Three big resolutions and lots of other things I want to do and accomplish.  I don't have a great track record of keeping resolutions but I pray that this year will be different. My reasons are different and my resolve is different. I am not the same person I was a year ago and for that I am thankful.  With each passing year and with each trial I walk through, I am being transformed.  It is a painful process sometimes, but it is God's way of accomplishing His will in our lives, as we read in the book of James.  I pray that this coming year is filled with continued healing and restoration.  I pray that reflecting on our journey will lead us to increased wisdom, the opportunity to share it with others and a greater capacity to serve.  

There is no way of knowing what lies ahead for any of us this year, which can be a scary feeling. I pray for peace, safety and an uneventful year but if God has different plans for us, I pray that we can continue to walk through life with the assurance that He will be there and that His grace is sufficient.
 I pray that we can live out the words of Paul, "for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:11-13

To my family and friends, may you have a wonderful 2016 and may you seek Christ above all else.  God bless and Happy New Year!